"Perfection"

*WARNING* Disclosure... Strong language and reality, may be read. If you do not like certain "bad" words and chaos, you may choose not to continue reading. But, if you need a vent, and some understanding, this could be for you. Angst may be detected, but it is that of passion, and not harsh nature. The Truth shall set you free...or mine, shall set me free.....

Let me say this.

I LOVE quotes. Short, Simple, and to the point words. I love how they resonate with me, for certain situations, and how just thinking about them, can bring on a sense of calmness, and a lot of times, hope.

Two of my favorites, on a bad day, especially when it comes to life, and parenting are....


 "What screw's us up most in life, is the picture in our head, of how it's supposed to be"

and...

"If the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bull-shit"


The life and home, that we picture in our heads, is as organized and clean as that in a Martha Stewart Magazine, it's filled with laughter, smiles, and love. Everything is timed perfectly, money is never an issue. The laundry is always done, and we always look perfectly put together.

Then...life happens, and we sit back in our seats, and think....what....the....hell....

The house is ANYTHING but clean, the laundry is piled up on the floor of the laundry room, not neatly folded or starched.

Instead of laughter, you often swear you can here someone killing an animal in the next room. The dishes have piled up, in the sink. There's pee on the floor and you're not sure from where, what, or who. Someone forgot to flush the toilet...then left the lid up...and the door open, your dog is now drinking from that toilet, while your toddler is happly splashing in it.

Your celebrity hairstyle is not that of Sarah Jessica Parker, but of Walter Matthau or Albert Einstien, and that stellar outfit you pictured yourself sporting, is yesterdays hoodie and yoga pants, that has been accessorized with someone elses vomit.

It is NOTHING at all like we pictured, so we immediately assume that we are doing it wrong, it causes us even more stress, and anxiety, a sense of failure, and envy. Why can't I do this?! Why does everyone else have their shit together, and I am struggling to even function.

(That covers the first quote...now onto the second, about the grass being greener...)

 Facebook....Twitter....the most amazing sources of "lets showcase whatever perfection we think we can, to make people think, we have the life, they wish they had!" Or the "I'm going to post how I want to be perceived."

I...call...bullshit.

The fertilizer of their greener grass....that we see.

We all need to remember that, when people only showcase their happy times....they still have their bullshit times...their "perfect perfection," that you see, and tend to kick yourself over, is only...status or photo deep.

I love seeing the happy posts...but I also really love real ones, because there are things in life, that are actually.....bullshit.....to deal with! Why do we want things to seem perfect....because in reality, they aren't. These posts of the imperfect reality, can give the feeling of laughter and closeness, for some. A togetherness in chaos if you will. They aren't necessarily put out there, to ask for sympathy.

Honestly, I laugh at others unfortunate and stressful events, BUT only because, I can relate to them. A lot of things, aren't funny while happening, but a brief recap, and it's hilarious. It's OK to be honest with others, and yourself. It's OK to have some bad times, and if someone is being "real," offer a kind word, a smile, or how the same shit happened to you yesterday....or...do as your mother told you, and don't say anything at all, but don't say words that hurt, they can be forgiven, but they wont be forgotten. (Another Quote). See ...

 I have to say, I am actually really grateful, for the "hardships" if you will, that I have had...I am starting a point in my life, that I no longer really care, about what others think(most of the time.) I feel much stronger and more confident as this journey and chaos of my life goes on. At first, I was overwhelmed, and depression hit, because of my feeling lost, and confused, and feeling as if, I wasn't living up to the vision, I had, for my life, in MY OWN head. I felt alone, and incapable...I was concerned that I was being judged, and that I was failing.

Being judged....most likely I was and still am. We all make judgements, against one another, it's human nature.... but in reality, failing...not even close. At the end of the day, we have survived the madness, and are still filled with love, and respect. To me, that is winning.

I am so much more grounded, and openhearted, from these little twists and turns of fate. I am literally honored that God (whatever he is to you) has given me this life...because I know, it has made me stronger, and more compassionate. Now...don't take that as I am ASKING for more on my plate...I am just saying, I am honored that this higher power deems me strong enough to live the life, that I have been given, whether it's "easier" or "harder," then the next.

We may be content, in showing our lives as perfect....but don't forget there is always a reality. Some where, there is always someone, having a bad day...month...few years. But, love, kindness, and laughter, are a huge part of learning, to enjoy this chaos, at the end of the day, and all  these moments make us who we are, they make us grow.

Sometimes....life is bullshit...but it can be a really good fertilizer for your own strength, and character, and I honestly hope, that maybe in some of my "weaknesses," you can find some of your strengths.

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